Have you ever said to yourself:
“I’ll never be rich.”
“I’m not smart or good enough for that promotion/raket/challenge.”
“I’m not as successful as [someone].”
Sometimes, our inner dialogue isn’t so blatantly negative. It can also be subtle, like the following:
“I’d like to start my own business, but I don’t have an idea what would work.”
“I’m an introvert, so it’s not my style to negotiate.”
“The economy makes it so hard for me to get a job.”
“I don’t have the time to earn money on the side.”
These thoughts aren’t necessarily destructive, but the hidden assumptions embedded in these thoughts hold you back. Let’s peel the layers a bit:
"What's playing?" wonders the Stormtrooper
Statement #1: “I’d like to start my own business, but I don’t have an idea what would work.”
Hidden Assumption: The success of a business depends on the idea.
Reality: This assumption is somewhat true, but your success depends more on the process of finding out which ideas work and which don’t, not the ideas themselves. Most entrepreneurs succeed because they test business ideas and abandon those that won’t work. They probably throw away more business ideas than they pursue.
…
Statement#2: ”I’m an introvert, so it’s not my style to negotiate.”
Hidden Assumption: Only extroverts can negotiate. You are not an extrovert.
Reality: The truth is, negotiation is learnable – just like any other skill. You used to be an illiterate when you were a toddler. Now you’re not. Your ability to learn how to read had nothing to do with your personality or love of reading – it was a skill you picked up.
…
Statement#3: “The economy makes it so hard for me to get a job.”
Hidden Assumption: The first assumption is that there’s nothing you can do to change your situation. That’s a very helpless position that you created for yourself. The second assumption is that you need a job in the first place.
Reality: Odds are, there’s something you’ve overlooked. First of all, how do you apply to jobs? Do you just submit your resume to hundreds of unrelated companies in the hopes that “sana swertehin”? Or do you get to the point where you’re actually interviewed, but you still don’t get hired? By reviewing your application style, making some changes, and testing those changes, you’re more likely to get hired.
As for the second assumption, you don’t necessarily need a job to earn money. For example, I’ve never had a regular job (I’ve only been freelancing). Other people start businesses.
…
Statement #4: “I don’t have the time to earn money on the side.”
Assumption: Two assumptions here: (1) that it takes soooo much time to earn decent money on the side and (2) that you don’t have any free time.
Reality: Since it’s earning money on the side, you don’t need to spend full-time office hours on them. As long as you charge enough for your products or services, and provide something of high value to others, you can add to your income just by working 2 to 4 hours per week.
Also, if you spend a few minutes to review every hour of your day, you’ll find some extra time that you can reallocate for your side raket. (As I mentioned in the previous post, if you spend 13 hours a week watching TV, just reallocating 2 of those hours to something more productive can make a huge difference.)
…
So, if it were possible to record the inner soundtrack in your mind, what would be the result? What statements would come up?
More importantly, what hidden assumptions are embedded?
No matter how positive, optimistic, or confident you are, it’s likely that you still have some negative thoughts holding you back – and some assumptions underneath all of them.
The key is to poke holes into those assumptions and challenge them. Odds are, your hidden assumptions are not as logical or as true as you thought.
This Week’s Action Task:
This week, we’re going to uncover the assumptions underlying our inner soundtrack. Then, we’re going to challenge them.
1) List 2 negative inner statements you say to yourself. These can be about anything. It could be about your finances, your career, your personal life, etc. As long as it’s something that repeats enough in your mind. Chose the ones that seem to hinder your progress the most.
2) For each statement, look for the hidden assumptions. The hidden assumptions are the things that must be true about yourself and your situation/environment for the inner statement to be true. (If you need help with this, just review the examples above or ask for help in the comments.)
3) List 1 to 3 simple ways to challenge each assumption. How are you going to challenge the assumptions you listed? For each assumption, list 1 to 3 actionable things you can do to determine if they are true or false. The challenge should be simple, easy, and take very little effort (just a few minutes). That way, you’re most likely to do them.
4) Do the challenges you listed in #3 above. Do them within one week of reading this article. Otherwise, I (and your inner self) will think that you’re one of those people who just reads tips, nods in agreement, and moves on with their lives without changing anything. Trust me, you don’t want to be that person.
Please write your answers to items #1 to #3 in the comments section below. It’s okay to be anonymous or use a codename, but I’d still love to see your answers. If there are some parts you can’t answer, or if you’re having a hard time, just say so. Me and the other Frugal Pinoy readers would be willing to help! I’ll also be including my own as an example.
Click here to add your own answers now.
Stormtroopers listening to a positive soundtrack for a change.
Photos by Flickr user jdhancock
Here are my answers to the action task:
Inner Statement: “I’m not a people-person. It takes me years before I get comfortable with other people.”
Hidden Assumptions:
- That being a “people-person” is a natural talent that we are born with.
- That my personality is fixed/set, and it does not include starting conversations with acquaintances, strangers, and people I just met.
Challenges:
- Spend 1 hour this week reading up on building rapport
- Make initial eye contact with everyone I interact with, and hold it for 2 seconds. This includes cashiers, clerks, drivers, etc.
- Come up with 3 replies to the question “What do you do?”/”Saan ka nagtratrabaho?”. It’s a common question people ask me upon meeting, and my typical LAME reply is “writer” and “sa bahay lang” – and the conversation almost always stops there. I’ll come up with 3 replies to “test” in actual conversation, and see which replies get the most engaging dialogue.
- – -
Inner Statement: “I’m not a programmer, I don’t need to learn programming languages.”
Hidden Assumptions:
- I don’t have the “talent” for programming, and can never have that skill.
- I will never use programming in my work/life.
Challenges:
- Finish at least 2 lessons from http://www.codecademy.com/
- Create a simple program that runs/works, even if it’s just based on a simple if/then function.
- – - -
Need a template for your own answers? Just copy and paste this and fill it up below:
Inner Statement:
Hidden Assumptions:
Challenges:
1) List 2 negative inner statements you say to yourself.
1st: “I hate my lousy job.”
2nd: “I won’t be able to find another job in another company because I don’t have the necessary skills.”
2) For each statement, look for the hidden assumptions.
For 1st statement:
a) My job is lousy
b) I hate my job because I cannot do anything about it.
For 2nd statement:
a) I won’t be able to find another job.
b) I don’t have the necessary skills.
3) List 1 to 3 simple ways to challenge each assumption.
For 1st statement:
a) My job is not lousy – it’s an honest and well-paying job in a good company that allows me to enjoy my current lifestyle and support my family’s needs. I promise to make a list of all the positive attributes of my current job.
b) There is definitely something I can do about it. Aside from applying for other jobs where I feel I will be happier, I can make use of my time here to learn as much as I can and grow professionally, and thus allow me to increase my value for future applications. As action plan, I will make a S.M.A.R.T. individual development plan for the year.
For 2nd statement:
a) I can find another job as long as I bank on my current expertise and experience, and by continuing to invest in my education and career growth. Within the week, I will make a list of all my transferrable skills, or skills that I can bring to other positions or jobs, aside from my more industry-specific skills.
b) I have skills, it just may not be the skills the company I’m applying to is looking for at the moment. I doubt that I would have made it where I am now if I don’t have enough skills in my arsenal. As action plan, I will make a list of possible industries and companies where I can apply based on my skills for my current industry, and those I can apply to using my transferrable skills.
Any update on this Arvin? How’s your progress so far